Art in the Universe, Down Home

When a certain Grandmother died what comforted me, a little and now in huge measure, were two gifts: her bone china coffee cups and a painting of her sweeping the flagstone path behind her house. I wasn’t supposed to get the painting. But when B and Eddie asked me what of hers I wanted, I mentioned the painting that I’d seen for years, hung around the house on various walls. That’s the beauty of living with an artist. Or being the niece of one. New images show up. Different things to ponder. The grandma painting popped up. Disappeared. Popped up. Disappeared.

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On Stage, on the Page

But Not on My Tongue

These days everyone knows there is a certain trend among some people who experience a disruption in eating. Death is one such disruption. In a court of law, those experiencing the very mild cases of aforementioned trend may or may not find a pulling back on the quiet enjoyment of flavor. Food not tasting good or not tasting like anything at all.

Some people still have not had their ability to discern flavor flavour flaver come back.

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Dirty Laundry at the Bibliotech

I heard it cost less than 9 million, but more than 3 million dollars to build the boxcar, complete with high tech dragon scales on the exterior, behind the library. To make more room. To make way for more people. To motivate such people. To attend the library more frequently.

It’s a thing that created some hubub not that long ago. The librarians had springs in their steps. But the immense windows face a dumpster and a parking lot. The laundromat is within icy spitting distance, which is where I was reminded again that the town planners must be on the same intellectual level as that horrid movie Shakes the Clown. The pass-out drunk in a wig and makeup.

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Before the Zombies Come

Captain Crunch’s Log, Soup du Jour

Two people in town wore masks over their faces now that Covid-19 has been more thoroughly digested.

Contrast from 3 days ago when I apologized to a friend with dog for touching his leash. Désolée, I kept saying. Huh, he said. Social distance, I said in English. My French in the best of times is bad. But apocalypse French? Non. Oh the virus, he said like a curiosity. I’m in a town in the Larrys where lots of people are senior citizens. I was shocked he wasn’t with the program yet.

Today it was -2, the Year of our Celcius, and sunny, therefore kind of warm.

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No, no, Submitted for YOUR Pleasure

I once scored a lucrative job from someone running a mysterious company that needed a creative writer. Creative is a term that, to me, involves humor. Which is why I’d submitted the following:

Water balloons prevent total, absolute slaughter of pumpkins

A school district in West Virginia of over 1,000 students began a mass slaughter of pumpkins in pursuit of science.

“Organizers say the goal of the event is not to make the squashes go splat, but rather to provide some pumpkin protection…” when dropped from 40 feet.

“It’s an applications process, it’s a physics process,” said one big wig where the demonstration was held.

The winners used a variety of materials. One group used “…milk cartons instead of cups” along with cardboard.

Another group of students found that water balloons, traditionally the weapon of choice for certain middle school and high school enthusiasts, provided adequate pumpkins protection.

Calls made to the Pumpkin Anti-Cruelty Society for a comment were not returned.

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How to Have a Baby

The first time I heard the phrase “mind like a steel trap” was when my father, PigPen, had a quiet sit-down with my siblings.  My mother was elsewhere. Likely still asleep in her bed.

“Mom’s been sick in the mornings lately. You’ve noticed, I’m sure,” he began.

We had only one bathroom back at the tiny house that had what my mother described as “cardboard walls”.  We nodded to PigPen, yes.

“So it’s only in the mornings.  And her appetite is weird. And she’s gaining weight. Sensitive about all that. Which means…” He waited.

“She’s pregnant,” I answered.

He pointed to me like I was a contestant on the Price is Right. “Mind like a steel trap,” he said. Continue reading “How to Have a Baby”

Confederacy in Quebec

I sent the Director out for a photo shoot, impromptu to capture a different kind of Quebec man.

We were at the bank, about to get some cash when I spied a pick-up truck with a confederate flag on the back window.  His truck had Quebec tags. A curious thing. I squinted harder at the old man in the cab. Was he American?  Why was he taking such a hard stand way up North, past yankee territory to something much worse?

“Go and get a photo of the flag on that guy’s truck,” I pointed.

She looked ahead and emitted an I don’t want to noise. “Why?” Continue reading “Confederacy in Quebec”

Using their words: the Democratic debate

People used their words at the last Democratic candidates’ debate, umpteen days ago.  And while the way they used them, the words, might have changed, since the last debate (old news), they’re still part of their permanent record.  We might as well see what they look like.

A reminder: I copied and pasted the transcript and pasted each speaker into wordle.

Oh, Malley

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